Lt. Apetron

I made this illustration for my friend Matt about 1.5 years ago. I was pretty motivated for once and wanted to do a really intricate and detailed paiting. It's all done by hand, except the background landscape - I used Vue to create that. I started it with just a sketch as you can see, then laid out the basics in float color. Once I had all the main elements defined and established, indulging in detailling and shading could begin. Original resolution is 2500x2500. It's far from perfect, but I'm pretty happy with it. Let me know what you think!

New Launch image

Weeeeeeell. Slowgoing - made some improvements, but still have a few things to do before I'll start painting.

Launch Progress ...

Hello. I wonder if *anyone* is reading this, haha. I'll go ahead anyway.
I'm still working on the 3D scene of "Launch". Making good progress. Done with the fighter geo, will put a texture map I did a while ago on it. Then I still need to work on the carrier. I actually want to remove a lot of the nurnies and return to some details I had in the rough sketch - they seem to be more interesting and elegant in my opinion. The details I have on the side of the carrier just look very generic and like they don't really belong to it. I'm also going to rework the struts that are holding the launch rail - they're looking a bit too elegant - also returning to a design that is closer to the original sketch (posted those sketches a little further down below.
I will post a new version in the next few days - probably at the end of the 3D phase. And then I'm gonna paint over it. Not really sure what the final resolution will be - but it's gonna be at least 3K, if not 4 ... eep ;)

"Launch" WIP

Here's the latest work in progress of "Launch", the sketch I posted yesterday. I'm still in the 3D phase. I don't know how far I'll push it, but I'm having fun right now, so I'll just keep going. Still need to flesh out the carrier. Just put the environment in. Will also have to work on the landscape / clouds below. Think I'll deploy Vue to do that, but might just end up being a painting too. Let me know what you think of it so far. Thanks!

Old Sketch

This sketch is about 2 years old. It was a very ambitious plan for a quite photo real illustration. A shuttle being launched from something like a stratospheric carrier-ship. I also sketched out the ship in more detail as you can see in the other image. I got as far as modelling the shuttle and carrier in 3D, but then lost interest. The shuttle turned out to be more a fighter in 3D. But I'm happy to say that I picked this up a couple of days ago and am working on it again. I would really like to finish this, since it'd make a pretty cool illustration in my opinion. I'll post progress. Let me know if you have any suggestions.

Thanks for your comment, Tom Evans! I just wanted to reply to it and elaborate on the purpose of this little blog. Basically, I don't think I'm making excuses - I just want to describe and document how I felt, and how I feel about the art I created during that time. Hopefully I soon will post new art, made under new, happier, circumstances, which will show the difference to back then. My credit list might be interesting, but I'm happy that my creative juices are finally returning to a degree that they're not all used up by my job, but that there are also some left for my personal work ;). Anyway - thanks again Tom, for being the first one to comment on my work.

Invite

This was an invite to my house warming party in late 2006. I think it turned out ok. Every once in a while during my 'hard times' I actually managed to produce something finished that I was happy with. First you have the sketch that I made in SB pro and below the final result. The title on the invite was something like "Come to My House!". My house is not really situated on a rock spire of course.
I used lots of photographic reference for it. I shoot a lot of my own reference - and here in beautiful New Zealand there are lots of opportunities to do so.

Alien City

This doodle was also done in sketchbook. Just happened - obviously. I kinda like it. Of course it's nothing great, but being done in 2005, the worst part of my depression, I was happy I could even do something like that. Als0 - to clarify - I was still working full time in my job during that time - so my theory is that I used up all my creative energy at work. So for my personal work, the well was dry, which can be seen in most of these examples.

Art Deco Vase

Quick still done in sketchbook pro. Made in 2005 - amazing how time goes by - doesn't seem like it has been 2.5 years. Really rough but I'm quite happy with how it turned out. This was when I was doing really bad, but still had no idea that I was suffering from depression. This is the last realistic painting I did in sketchbook.

Temple

Here's an image I made in Vue. I really like the package but my initial enthusiasm waned too and I rarely use it anymore for personal stuff. This render could have been way more than it is, but I think it turned out ok. A bit sterile and there's nothing going on.
It's straight out of Vue, except some color correcting. Btw - feel free to comment on all of my images. Thanks :)

Sktechbook Pro

I used Alias Sketchbook Pro for a while. It's a pretty neat sketch program but I haven't touched it in a while since it has some annoying flaws too. Additionally, support for it has been stopped and I found Artrage, which is just as good, easier to use and costs a fraction of SB's price. But during my dry years I did quite a bit of work in it. The phone and apple mouse are the only realistic still lifes I made with SB. The city was a unplanned sketch that grew. I guess SB was good for me, since I could just doodle and didn't have to commit to finish the painting. I was so discouraged, almost afraid to sit down to do a complete painting, since I was afraid of letting myself down over and over again.

Another failed 2004 painting

Not to make this too much of a downer, but I'm digging through the 'lost years' directories. I am finding work I had high hopes for when I started it, only to see my motivation dry up and leave behind a dead piece of painting. Here is another example. Not much to explain I guess.

Old painting from 2004

Here's the first failed attempt during my depression. I started this in mid 2004 in Los Angeles and finished it in Wellington in 2006. I used to finish my paintings in 2-3 days when I used to be 'on fire'. It would be ok to have it take that long, but it's just not a decent painting. The only thing I like is the feeling of moonlight. Composition is bad and the painting has no life to it. The subject matter and presentation are quite boring too. One can almost see the lack of life force in me ;) But - here it is!

Last decent work

Old work: Well - this is the last decent illustration I made before I hit my depression. I like it quite a bit - it was done in 2002. I guess it was inspired by the mech-monster in Steve Norrington's debut movie "Death Machine" - it's a hilarious movie, go catch it.
Before I worked on that I already had taken a break from painting and I consider this my last valid work of that phase. I started with a quick sketch and then just refined it in iterations. The blended gradients are done with the smudge brush.

Wanna have!

Well - here is an illustration that I just finished. Just played around in Artrage which is a really simple but cool paint program. Very cheap too - go get it!
The illustration kinda happened. Pretty silly. I vowed that from here on, there needs to be some kind of character in each of my paintings, since that is my weakest spot.

Hello!

Welcome to my attempt to re-enter my creative side! We'll see where this is going and if it's ever going to take off. :)
Basically, the story is this:
I'm a digital artist and am working in visual effects for movies. I used to do a lot of personal work - digital illustration - until five years ago I started suffering from depression. One of the symptoms of depression is that it takes away the joy of doing things that you love.
So I slowly stopped doing my own art. The desire to do it stayed, but the motivation and ability to pull it off, completely faded.
A few months ago, after 1.5 years of therapy, medication and quite a bit of hard work, I finally began emerging from that black hole I'd fallen into. I created this blog to help myself to start painting again. I hope that a little public place will lure me back to being creative.
First I will post the painting attempts of the past years so you can see how badly things went ;) and then, with a little bit of luck, I'll be posting new art.

Wish me luck and welcome to my blog! :)